LIFE ADVISE
Are Your Self-Limiting Beliefs Make You Evade Struggle & Keep You Stuck In Life?
I was someone who would always complain about life. Sometimes to the extent that I would not even give a second thought to my mistakes. I felt I was just a soul in the body that was not in my control and driven by luck and external forces.
However, we move forward in life when we choose to take responsibility for our lives. Responsibility doesn’t mean constantly taking blame for ill decisions, it is accepting what went wrong and reasoning about its possible solution.
Merely accepting responsibility seems fancy, however, it is hard to do so. This is because our minds are driven by what we believe. Our beliefs shape our personalities — personality in return influences our reality. If we have high expectations and views of ourselves, we will always look for opportunities and environments that reflect it.
Personality matters because it can help make the life we want. At its basics is the characteristics and patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behavior that make a person unique. These unique traits are major factors responsible for a person’s downfall or success.
What Is Your Locus Of Control
Psychologists have tried to answer the question regarding how much control we have over our lives. One such answer lies in the concept called locus of control.
In 1956, Jullian B Rotter developed a social learning theory of personality, the locus of control in trying to understand people’s approaches to life events. A person’s locus of control can be external or internal with varying benefits against each other.
A person with an internal locus of control either praises or blames themselves. As they feel they are responsible for themselves and are in control of their destiny. They understand that perfection will only come if they prepare themselves better. Therefore, upon failures, they turn to themselves to identify their weaknesses and redress them. They start to work towards it.
In contrast, the person with an external locus of control will not struggle hard as they feel it is not under their control anyway, nor they are in control of their future. They think they will succeed or be given success if God wills it, or it is in their luck that some coincidence happens.
I have found most religious people in my surroundings lie in this mentality, including members of my own family — it is very hard to listen to their stories of miracles due to faith. Whilst the only thing they do is time waste. Nowhere in the scriptures, it is written that your actions have no consequences upon you, rather it is your deeds and actions that you will be made accountable for. There is no accountability without autonomy and free will.
Though none has their locus completely one-sided, people usually lie between the two extremes. But there can be factors where one tilts towards one particular locus over the other. It is this that causes abnormalities in the equilibrium.
A person with an internal locus of control can have the following characteristics and beliefs.
• They are more prone to take responsibility for their actions.
• They are less likely to be influenced by others’ gossip and opinions.
• They can do work better at their own pace and autonomy.
• They have a strong sense of self-efficacy
• They often achieve greater success in the workplace as they work hard for it.
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A person with an external locus of control can have the following characteristics and beliefs.
• They blame outside forces for their circumstances.
• They often credit luck, God, or chance for any successes
• They don’t believe that they can change their situation through their efforts
• They frequently feel hopeless or powerless in the face of difficult situations
• Sometimes we are guilty of turning towards an external locus of control just to console ourselves on failures instead of encouraging ourselves to fight more.
How To Manage Your Locus Of Control To Do Better In Life
Overall people with an internal locus of control do better in life, however, they can too impose upon themselves hard conditions to meet. This not only harms their quality of life but causes them to fall into an inferior complex.
The internal locus of control is more desirable because it is psychologically healthy to perceive that one has control over those things that one is capable of influencing. I can recommend three ways to increase your internal locus of control.
1. Change The Blame Towards You But Be Gentle
Not all that happens in your life will be your fault, you are still responsible for it. If you change your mindset by blaming all the unfortunate happening on external events, you won’t be able to identify your poor performances or lack of proper preparation. Taking the blame on yourself can make you identify the loopholes you have been exhibiting without awareness. Constant practicing this mindset through actions will have great effects on your life.
2. Lead And Take Charge
There is no alternative to hard work, and nothing can make you work that hard if you don’t have intrinsic motivation. Your mind influences your behavior and actions. Your mind is driven by your thoughts and mindset. If you think your hard work can bring you success, you will take the lead and work towards your goals. Therefore, always repeat to yourself, “determination, not luck will take me to my future goals.”
3. Embrace Failures in Your Life Wholeheartedly
There is no success without failures. There is no shortcut to mastery, one must undergo the pain and tribulations of the journey to reach a beautiful paradise. You will face many obstacles, you will be demotivated and even frustrated. You have to be gentle towards yourself and take constant breaks to refresh yourself. However, you must continue to move and move.
Whichever spectrum the locus of control you are on, adjust your mindset and behaviors that benefit you. Your experience might speak for an external locus of control, but remember if you are consistent, even at the end failures will shy away from you.
Thank you for reading. The blog was written after research and fact-checking, however, it is not professional advice and can be flawed.
