MINDSET
3 Mindsets That Will Help You Thrive in Adversity
Matter matters most while you are at your lowest
“I think therefore I am.”
Although the above quote is based on the philosophical thoughts of Descartes, recent research shows that mindset or thinking paradigms can positively affect learning, skill development, relationships, school grades, and overall success in life.
What we think makes us. If we have a growth mindset, we will always strive and give our best as we believe ourselves to be capable. These are the very people who in turn empower others to be successful with them — this empathy and synergy make them able enough to yield high results.
Joseph Murphy, the author of “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” has elaborated the concept of mindset as such:
“As you sow in your subconscious mind, so shall you reap in your body and environment.”
To him, our inner world is governed by suggestions and assumptions we make daily; an opinion of yours about yourself convinces your body and mind to accept it as a reality.
All we have to do is talk good to ourselves about ourselves. Consider your subconscious mind as the manager of your life and you as its owner, you have to decide and give vision to it and not the otherwise.
“Never finish a negative statement; reverse it immediately, and wonders will happen in your life.”
For years I was suffering from the negative effects of my mentality on my life. I would complain about everything; things would become worse as I proceeded with life. My life was not my life, it was controlled by the negativity I had been surrounded myself with.
Liz Huber, a Mindset & Productivity Coach, in her article rightly stated that mindset and beliefs affect everything: how to feel, act, and react. Therefore, Mindset needs to match your aspiration; otherwise, it might hold you from getting where you want to be.
I have learned from my experience that nothing in life is purely an advantage or disadvantage. It all depends on how we utilize or capitalize on our energies. It is through this critical mindset we move forward with success in our lives.
1. Loss Is Your Strength
“Grief is itself a medicine.” — William Cowper
Losing your loved ones can be a traumatic experience. It can leave lifelong imprints on someone very dear, be it the loss of your loved ones to death or breaking up with a partner. Even though it is not in our control to control the uncontrollable, we can keep the feelings and capitalize on the new insights resulting from Post Traumatic Growth to excel in our lives.
Fixed mindset keeps limitations and imaginary obstacles in our minds, and lets us always feel bad about ourselves. However, if we see losses as part of life we will appreciate other blessings that we have. No one is born perfect, no one is given everything. Everyone has their share of weaknesses and strengths; this is to say that sometimes your strengths can be weaknesses and weakness can be your biggest strength. This is common to all humanity and all genders.
When you understand that your weaknesses can be your strengths, you begin to work and take action for your future. You keep the energy that fuels your journey to heights.
Many successful stories have one common factor. They either wanted to fulfill the dream of their loved ones or to prove to someone their worth. Achieving the dreams, destination or a label becomes your purpose in life; the energy stays with you as your intrinsic motivation.
The hardship becomes easy to bear, pain becomes pleasurable — you continue and continue. You enjoy what you do and external pressures or demotivation seem to not distract you from your path. This is also because you are satisfied internally and do not need any external.
We can take examples of famous personalities who were born disabled yet achieved heights of success. All due to this mindset of considering weaknesses as a strength. People from all walks of life including Stephen Hawking, Ralph Brun, and Farida Kahlo are well-known names. My favorite poet John Milton, who has been described as the greatest poet only wrote Paradise Lost when he became blind in both eyes.
2. You Are Responsible For Yourself
“Your only responsibility is to be yourself. If they leave, it is on them.” — Mel Robbins
In everyday life, we have to make choices and decisions. However, sometimes we depend on others for decisions that impact our entire life. Whether in a romantic relationship or friendship, we always depend on a “savior” to motivate us, to encourage us, and to make ways for us to move on with our lives.
However, as nothing comes for free, you have to give up your time, your dream, or something in return for support from someone else. Sometimes we assume and look for others to uplift us — these attitudes, and dependency mindset are the reasons you cannot get out of your comfort zones.
I wasted a year waiting for someone to do something important for me, ultimately I got to understand it was not in his favor to help me. When I decided to take control of my life through this mindset, I felt liberated and accomplished my job within a month.
I was too afraid to admit that I was all alone — only I could be my best friend. There was no one to take responsibility for me, and I understood that I had to take all responsibility for myself.
Surely people will help and support your journey, only if you dare to lead your life. You will thrive in your life if you are the person who is making an effort to make his life better. This too with supporting those who look up to you.
The key is to empower people to make decisions for themselves — and your role should be to guide them in their journey to be independent of you.
“You can change your life when you stop blaming other people for where you are, and start taking responsibility for where you are going” — Mel Robins
Understand that whatever you do is for yourself — only you are responsible for what is happening around you and only you have the power to turn around events. Irrespective of your past, be the creator of your future. Take control of your life by taking responsibility for yourself.
3. Always Grow & Look Forward
“You can’t MOVE when you THINK you can’t move. It’s all in your mind.”
In one of his interviews, Imran Khan, who is considered a most successful person in achieving his dreams, said: “I will be stagnant if I do nothing, or retire to relax.”
This man who was once a famous cricketer is now Prime Minister of Pakistan — always going after what generally is considered to be impossible. He is the most relevant example of a person who has the mindset of looking forward to challenges in life.
Pooja Agnihotri, in her book “17 Reasons Why Business Fails” points out the same mindset of growth:
“When you become stagnant and aren’t improving by the day, you are only moving toward your failure.”
We live in the past, look at the past, or predict the worst future in light of the past, and we think about why we are not getting new opportunities and why life is boring and stagnating day by day. It is because instead of going forward, you move backward.
It doesn’t matter if you take one step forward or two. What matters is that you move forward each day. You do it regularly, you make it part of your existence — part of your body, soul, and mind, something that James Clear, the author of “Atomic Habits” calls systems of habits.
“You fall to the level of your systems. Your goal is your desired outcome. Your system is the collection of daily habits that will get you there. This year, spend less time focusing on outcomes and more time focusing on the habits that precede the results.”
Therefore, never stop, and always grow. It is rightly said that stagnant minds decay. You are the only machine that works best when it is used consistently.
Let us always remind ourselves to put ourselves first. This means the negation of each and everything that makes us decay. Adopting these 3 mindsets in life can give us our path to forward-looking and to be better people who contribute goodness to society.
Thank you for reading. The blog was written after research and fact-checking, however, it is not professional advice and can be flawed.
